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Yesterday was exactly one week after I arrived in Indonesia. Several days before my flight, I was full of anxiety. I was afraid that I would experience a “re-culture shock,” or maybe that I would romanticize the Netherlands too much. But honestly, I am totally fine (though a little overwhelmed by having to meet people so often). Of course, some routines have changed. I no longer walk everywhere, cook every day, or spend most of my time by myself. Suddenly, there are people everywhere, plans almost every day, and a lot of conversations to catch up on. I think this is probably the part I need to readjust to the most. But surprisingly, I don’t feel like I left a big part of myself in the Netherlands. I still miss certain things—the quietness, the independence, being able to disappear for a while without anyone asking where I am. But I also enjoy being here. I enjoy the food, being around familiar people, and speaking Indonesian all day.  Maybe I was worried for nothing. Or maybe two y...

Beberapa menit lalu aku baru saya melewati paspor control di bandara Schiphol dan ketika petugas menerima paspor dan resident permitku, dia bertanya :  Spreek je Nederlands? dan langsung ku jawab : Nee, English. Dia tertawa dan aku tertawa.  Paspor kontrol tidak lagi menjadi hal yang menakutkan untukku. Aku sudah tiga kali masuk Belanda, dan ini adalah perjalanan keluar Belanda ketigaku (read: EU & Schiphol).  Aku ingat pertama kali masuk Belanda di bulan Agustus 2024. Aku harus memperlihatkan beberapa surat yang aku peroleh dari universitas dan undangan pengurusan Resident Permit dan BSN dari IND (Imigrasi Belanda). Setelah itu, ketika aku masuk dan keluar (lagi), tidak ada pertanyaan sulit yang ditanyakan oleh petugas. Yang aku ingat adalah kalimat :  " Enjoy your holiday, Welcome back to the Netherlands" Schiphol terasa familiar. Aku sudah bisa mengalkulasi berapa lama waktu yang harus aku butuhkan untuk melalui semua tahap pemeriksaan. Aku tidak mau lagi ce...

Hari ini mungkin hari terakhir di masa studi masterku untuk duduk di pojok perpustakaan yang sudah menjadi favoritku selama satu tahun terakhir, karena besok aku akan pulang ke Indonesia. Wageningen hari ini sangat panas dan terik. Summer ini benar-benar berbeda dengan summer tahun lalu. Tahun ini, heatwave terjadi berkali-kali. Aku akan pulang ke Indonesia dengan kondisi kulit berona hitam (but it's okay).  Perpustakaan ini sepi. Berbeda dengan beberapa waktu lalu, saat aku sedang mengerjakan tesisku. Waktu itu aku harus berebut untuk bisa mendapatkan spot favoritku : di pojok bagian dalam kubikel lantai dua perpustakaan. Aku sepertinya bisa menghabiskan waktu selama apapun di spot ini.  Perpustakaan menjadi saksi bagaimana tesis adalah moment terbaikku di masa studiku. Perpustakaan juga menjadi saksi bagaimana aku "takut" berlebihan ketika akan bertemu dengan supervisor thesisku, Pieter, yang ternyata sangat baik. Perpustakaan juga menjadi saksi aku menangis tanpa suar...

Happy birthday to the baby, toddler, teenager, and every version of Ifa. Thank you to little Ifa, who had to learn to be strong earlier than she should have. To little Ifa, who was often confused, afraid, or felt she had to understand the adult world too soon. You did not always know what was happening, but you kept growing. Thank you to teenage Ifa, who was once fragile, insecure, angry, disappointed, and felt not good enough. For all the nights when you questioned yourself. For all the phases when you wanted to be understood, but instead had to learn how to save yourself. Thank you to adult Ifa, who has gone through loss, fear, academic pressure, loneliness in a foreign country, failures that felt personal, and days when life felt too heavy. Thank you for still choosing to keep going, even when no one truly knew how difficult the road was for you. This year, I have learned to be more grateful. Grateful for the things I managed to overcome, for the good people who came into ...

The most important thing I learned in 2025 was simple but hard to do: don’t force things, let go, and forgive yourself. Ever since I was young, I’ve believed in hard work. I always thought that if we really try, almost nothing is impossible. With enough effort and dedication, we should get what we want. This belief has shaped how I’ve lived for many years. But in 2025, I started to see things differently. Not every big effort gives us the results we hope for. Sometimes, trying to force things just brings more loss and regret. I realized that life isn’t just about working harder. It’s also about knowing when to keep going and when to let go. Near the end of 2025, I learned what it really means to let go. I had never been robbed while living in Indonesia, but it happened to me in the Netherlands. My new phone was stolen, and with it, I lost important thesis data that hadn’t been backed up to iCloud. What did it feel like? A mix of shock, sadness, and surrender. At one point, I even found...

Seorang teman menyarankan untuk kembali menulis di platform ini. Platform yang identik dengan Ifa dan berhasil branding dengan url-nya yang unik. Here, I am : Geographer and a spatial analyst who loves writing and traveling very much.  Kembali ke rumah ini, dan menemukan draft ini di arsip almari yang berdebu. Judulnya adalah Level Up Your Life in 2020, kosong. Mungkin saat itu aku sedang bersemangat menata hidup sebagai anak rantau pemula. Waktu bergulir tanpa menamatkan episodenya di tahun 2020. Menjelang 2023 aku mulai melanjutkan draft ini. Namun, ternyata hingga pertengahan 2025 draft ini belum juga publish. So, this is my early birthday gift, refleksiku terhadap apa yang ku alami di usia kepala tigaku.  Tahun 2023, adalah titik balik dari kejenuhan hidupku dan ditahun tersebut aku memulai memiliki target yang spesifik.  Spesifik dan aku berani menuliskannya di salah satu platform media sosialku yang rahasia. Sungguh dua prestasi besar, berani berangan dan berani...